NormKnowsTheNominees: Breaking Down The 2017 Grammys

January 21, 2017
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NormKnowsTheNominees: Breaking Down The 2017 Grammys

      “Helllloo, can you hear me? I’m in California dreamin’ of another Grammy SZN.” Woah! Guys, I’m not going to lie to you (and I never would) but I wrote that silly line in an effort to setup an article that is simply going to give you my perspective of how I believe things will shake out this Grammy season. However, after reading said line back, I feel like it’s FIRE, and have the urge to drop some more bars: but I’ll spare you the heat, and take you right to the kitchen (Boom!)

This year’s 59th Annual Grammy Awards is shaping up to be a tough year to call; as 2016 managed to bring us an insane amount of jams, and in our case: subject material! We’ve seen Beyoncé essentially, break into every radio station in the world and rob all airwaves with her brilliant Lemonade album! We’ve let Toronto’s finest, Mr. Aubrey Graham, take us to Views that our car stereos could barely handle! And most importantly, our pal, Justin Bieber was able to remind everyone in the world to Love Yourself. While just the honor of being nominated for a Grammy is an incredible feat within itself, we all know that unfortunately, not everyone can take home the Gold. Fortunately for YOU, I’ve decided to save you all from some of the suspense, and unveil my predictions for who will emerge victorious in some tricky categories from this year’s Grammys! Now, before I begin, let me remind you that the following is 100% factual, and I, in fact, know all that there is about music, so you honestly won’t even have to watch on February 12th, and that’s final, na-na na-na boo boo, no take backs!

RECORD OF THE YEAR

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(Side Note: In this picture, doesn’t it look like Adele’s all like, “Uhh…does this chick know I’m about to take Record Of The Year, next week?” and Beyoncé’s all like, “Uhh…do y’all really think I’ma let this chick win Record Of The Year, next week?”)

The truth with this one is: Adele is going to win the Grammy for Record Of The Year with “Hello”. The only factual reasoning that I can provide for you as to why this is the case, is that, it has been scientifically proven, that any song that you since along to in the car, and TRULY have no choice in the matter in doing so or not, typically gets the nod for Record Of The Year. I mean, I opened this article with a manipulation of lyrics to the song?! Adele crawled into all of our brains this past year, and we love her dearly for it!

BEST NEW ARTIST

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While I’m inclined to give the nod to The Chainsmokers for providing my apartment’s living room with energy that I haven’t seen since Kindergarten recess (seriously, I had the BEST time in Kindergarten) I think that Chance walks away with the gold, in a nail-biter for captivating us all with his creativity, and instrumentally-charged album, Coloring Book. I also see several awards coming The Chainsmokers way for years to come, so no love should be lost in this category AT ALL.

BEST POP SOLO PERFORMANCE

Next.

BEST RAP SONG

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Uhh…yeah…next!

BEST CONTEMPORARY BLUES ALBUM

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Haha, dude, I have zero idea who this year’s nominees are in this category, but here at WeKnowTheDJ, we leave no category behind! I literally chose Janiva Magness at random, and it’ll be hysterical if you check back after the Grammys air, and I get this right. (Fingers crossed, Janiva!)

While the above is all lighthearted and fun, the WeKnowTheDJ Team would like to genuinely, congratulate ALL nominees, and thank each and every artist for bringing incredible music to the world at a time that we all truly need it. Please don’t forget to tweet us @WeKnowTheDJ and let us know who you would like to see in the winner’s circle at the end of the night! Have a great weekend, friends!

-Norman P. (@EarlyBird410)

Feature Image by Leslie Crow

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